The Smelly Cheese

But according to every television news outlet on my cable lineup, I (the viewing audience) really respond to the political "food fight," in the democratic primary. Also, I seem to care a lot about the former Governor of New York paying tons of money for rough sex. Oh yes, and I care immensely about the personal trials of Britney, Lindsay and Hillary Duff. Hmmmm, that's really odd. I could've sworn that I really want to know why the fuck my congress hasn't done dick about the $350 million tax dollars that are being flushed down the toilet in Baghdad.

There I was thinking reversing the destructive policies of the Bush-Cheney regime was the most important thing on our political agenda... but boy was I wrong. I'm really glad that Keith Olbermann has been there nightly to incessantly (and objectively) remind me that the real enemy of American progress is the Clinton family. Thanks Keith for shining a light on the true injustice of Hillary Clinton's disastrous wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. After all if Bill Clinton hadn't sent those troops into Iraq and lied about weapons of mass destruction.... wait a minute. Wasn't George Bush the president that did all this stuff?

No, I'm probably mistaken... again. Silly me, I just have to remember that if Olbermann says it, it must be true. The same goes for Oprah. She's never wrong. That's my "O&O" policy. Olbermann is always truthful and objective because he speaks in that really cool, old school anchorman voice. Plus he's always pointing out how other people are "lying," ergo... Olbermann can't be fudging with the truth. And Oprah has a book club. People with their own book clubs clearly have better judgement than I do. Thus, Oprah can't be wrong about who to vote for in the next election.

Anderson Cooper on CNN just plain has an honest face. How can I not trust someone with that face? Blitzer's beard screams honesty. Those guys are "the most trusted name in news." The word trust is literally part of their slogan.

Basically I just have to accept the fact that what I'm interested in now is Barack Obama's tax return and Hillary Clinton's electability among white women ages 33-35 in Harrisburg, PA. After all a journalism organization would never purposely force-feed news items that are easier, cheaper and simpler to report on than the depressing, complicated realities that face our country. Never. It simply couldn't happen. Sean Hannity would never allow it.